You know how persuasive people can be? And people like me, who cannot stand firm enough always tend to fall into their trap. One mistake i made in my previous relationship, was to be too believing. But only too believing in the wrong way.
People that met *us even for the first time always commented that we were one very compatiable couple and we should be together even when nobody knew we were an item. I still remembered this lady who saw us only the second time telling me "he is a very nice guy, and i can see he treats you really well, you two should be together. Trust me, ive seen so many people in my life, and im never wrong about them. You two make a great pair." I told her that it was impossible between *us but she insisted i be with him if such a chance came by. She ended off saying "it doesnt matter whether a man is rich or not, as long as you think he is the one, you should just be with him and stand by him."
And i got swayed by emotions, but that's not the point of today's post.
Actually, there wasnt any point in today's post.
But anyway, i always remembered what she said, the part where it doesnt matter if the guy is rich or poor. If two people have many things in common, if two people have feelings for each other, that has probably be the most important. I never really fancied any rich man, i dont think ive dated any rich people either. I dont aspire to be a tai-tai like most girls because i cannot stand that kind of boredom and risk my husband next time to be anywhere but home with his numerous mistresses.
I dont want a rich man, but i would want a man who can make it rich. So it doesnt matter if he is poor, because i know one day he is gonna make it big.
I wouldnt have been in my previous relationship, if not for so many people who kept telling me *we make a great pair, and if i didnt feel so comfortable as friends that i would want to tell him every single thing about me. My history, my past, my family, my friends, my present, my future, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, my secrets, my scares, my goals, my dreams, myself.
Is that how you realised you're in love with somebody? When i just got to know him, i amazingly told him my darkest secret. A secret i never want to be reminded about, something i never want anyone to find out about. But i told him. I didnt know why, but later i realised, it was because i want him to know everything about me. I want to share my life with him. I want him to be part of me, part of my life. And since then, i've never hid anything from him. When im upset, i'll tell him why im not happy. When im angry with him, i tell him straight in the face what he did to anger me. Ive never been like that in my past relationships.
In the past, whenever the guy disappoints me or make me upset, i'll confide in my friends and they'll cheer me up or try to explain why would a guy do what he did. But i never knew if what they said were true, because ive never brought it up to my ex for confirmation.
But in my last relationship, i never have to wonder because most of the time we'll come clean with each other. Maybe he still hides things from me, but i am always so honest. Always.
Okay, point is .. if you like someone, you would want that someone to know everything about you, no?
Like.. every single minor detail of what's happening in your life, he/she would be the first person you wanna share it with. no?
If you're feeling upset..cos of various stuffs, be it personal or general, you would want to share it with that person..no?
If you're angry or frustrated, you would want to let him/her know whats causing the wrath in you, no?
And you'll always be honest and truthful ... no?
Maybe that's when you will only realise how important he/she is to you. If there ever is a need to hide or to lie, then maybe its time to reconsider.
I no longer want to share my life with him, i no longer tell him how im feeling, i no longer tell him what's going on in my world by the seconds. Im glad i no longer feel that way.
Case closed.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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